Most of us have memories that haunt us. Some more painful than others.
This article will not help you dive deep into your psyche and cope with the trauma. Instead, we will learn how to survive the pains of your past and set yourself up for the future.
What rules are there when you’ve been abused, traumatized, hurt in any way? What rules for when the past lingers around?
The road to survival lies in one simple thing, from which everything else stems:
Focusing on living a better life right now. At some point in time, we all wish we could turn back time and undo things we did and were exposed to. But that kind of magic is unavailable to us.
Time has an intense focus. It only moves forward. You have to do the same.
1. Never Use Drugs
Most people tend to drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes and weed when they feel shit. At dark periods in my life, I’ve also felt the need to down wine and whiskey all day long. To go get a pack of smokes and devour it in hyperspeed.
But use your head! Whenever you’ve done something like that in the past, if you have, did it end up making you feel better?
In the best-case scenario, it numbed you for the moment. But the pain was still in the back of your head, building up until it’s let out.
Stay away from every type of drug:
Cocaine, caffeine, alcohol, nicotine, creatine, cannabis and yes, even anabolic steroids and research chemicals. No matter how “mild” you believe it to be, you will abuse it if you are a person running away from something.
2. Eat Well
Using drugs can be a form of self-harm. A slower way to kill yourself. It’s normal among hurt people with so little self-respect they like mistreating themselves.
Likewise, you can harm yourself by eating like crap.
Maybe you eat 7,000 calories in a day to forget something. Maybe you don’t eat at all except some pancakes at night. Maybe your only source of nutrition is Snickers.
Sometimes, this is not because you enjoy doing it… but because you know it’s bad for you.
It traps you in a negative spiral because the bad food you eat promotes the production of stress hormones in your body, which when elevated for long gives you mood disorders and depression by itself. You’ve already got things to deal with, and don’t want another source of melancholy.
Improve your diet. Throw out all the crap — you know what the crap food you eat is. Eat more unprocessed foods, meat, leafy greens, and nuts. Eat until you’re full and satisfied, no less and no more unless you have decided to lose or gain weight.
3. Lift Weights
The iron has always been there for you. When you’re in times of trouble, or anytime, you must channel your agony into something constructive. Lifting weights is the perfect option for every man.
Strength training is the ultimate strengthener of your mind. You will grow self-discipline by constantly pushing for more repetitions and weight. You will gain control over your state of mind.
But wait, there’s more:
Lifting weights also forces you to live a better life in general. You need to sleep well if you care about lifting weights. You need to eat well.
And eventually, you will notice something that makes you feel incredible; You begin to look fantastic. Your face gets lean and jawline sharp. Your shoulders pop and your abs look more chiseled than those of a Greek god.
“Fuck my past, all I care about is becoming even better!” you will say to yourself.
That is a good thing. It will save you.
4. Be On A Mission
Lifting weights and building your body is a mission every man needs. If you don’t feel a purpose in life, it’s hard to feel the desire to live at all. But bodybuilding doesn’t have to be your only purpose:
What did God put you on this Earth for?
To become a father? To become a world-class entrepreneur, inventor or artist? Or to travel the world and live on your own terms?
I don’t know. You need to introspect and find out for yourself, and then you have to pursue that mission with every breath you take. Never let it go, not for any love or situation you come by, because that would be suicide.
Never. Ever. Let. It. Go!
5. The Secret…
I told you before:
Time only moves forward. It doesn’t reverse itself.
You live in time, you must live like time. You can never stop moving forward. You can never go backward.
Don’t spend your days pondering the past. Focus on what is ahead of you, focus on the future and all the great things you will accomplish. They say the best revenge is living well, and even though you may not desire vengeance… living well is the solution to everything.
Until next time,
— Alexander Contrarian